Sunday, August 27, 2006 / 5:02 AM
Today was a saddening day
everything went wrong
i am feelijng so sick now
still having a high fever and a bad flu
I fell sick on tuesday
perhaps i drank too much mutton soup on monday night
hehe, glen left already
this means i have more to cope during lessons
not sure i can control all those kids as well as him
EYE is coming
6 more weeks
the streess seems overwhelming
OMG, can i really cope with it
Everytime i receives Glen's mum's call
i feel kinda a weird feeling
i hardly have time to go lessons
yet, i could not bear to reject her
i feel so bad
Glen told me to help her as much as possible before he left
cos her health is not in tip-top state
so....
i try my best to arrange my time
so that i can attend most of her lessons
i mean MOST:)
anyway, life is always like this
we have a cjoice to chose
but we dun have the choice of the outcome
wat we can do is to believe
believe in yourself
believe in your choice
and make the best out of it
so that you would not turn your haed back one day and say
i shouldn't have done this in the first place
Hmm, that sounds so logical
haha, i rarely say logical stuff
Maybe, i am just not myself today lah
got geo test on tues
got to go and study now
still feeling sick
Friday, August 18, 2006 / 5:57 AM
Finally blogging after such a long tyme
Hmm, kind of tired this week
Not tired, exhausted i suppossed
so much things have happened
My poor brain cells seem to start protesting soon
or perhaps, they are already
NDP is finnaly over!!!
haha, after NDP, a new topic is sprouting
Hmm, it has been speculated that....
AUDRIE LIKES ME!!!!
haha, wat a joke lah
hmm, maybe is tat i am kind of close to her during duties lah
but, let me reiterate, i care for audrie the way i care for my juniors
just tat perhaps we meet everyday for yoga duties
tats why so love to talk crap stuff to me
hehe:)
Finally returned for meetings this week
seems a long time i have attended meeting
but, meeting this week was depressing
Peiying wasn't feeling well and left early
Jessie is withdrawing from AV
now we are left with 6 sec 3
Peichun started singing ' today is our book out day, book out, book out..'
everyone was kind of tired
and i screamed at the sec ones during debreif
but, it is definately not my wish
but, i am frustrated
sorry to all of them
Arggh!!!
I almost felt like dying this week
so much duities and tests
Oh no, miss wee thinks that i am streesed
but, actually, i am kinda of sick
and i suffer from serious lack of sleep
i noe i look horrible eveyday in e morning
but i will try to look better next week
i promised
there's a kind of pain inside me
i dun noe wat causing the pain
but everythings seems to be so screwed
or perhaps i am a screwed person
heard miss wee saying that some teachers are complaining tat Av members miss leesons because of duties
on e other hand, some teachers complained that we are too slow to report our duties
so since we can't leave early for duty, how do they expect us to report early???
Arggh!!! i really dun noe wat i am suppossed to do
i am feeling very exhausted now
a lonely friday night
an empty friday night
just like me
a lost soul wandering around
Forgot that today is already 18th august
Glen is leaving for australia 2morrow
going for about 2 years for studies
wish him all e best in his studies
hope he stills remember me after 2 years time
five hundred twenty five thousands six hundred minutes
one year seems a long time to pass
my life seems to be dragging on day after day
i wonder when will i be able to smile happily again
maybe 2moorow
maybe next week
maybe next year
or maybe forever i will not be able to smile again
i dun noe
can someone tell me?
Monday, August 07, 2006 / 8:34 AM
The day before CEDAR NATIONAL DAY 2006
kinda a little bit nervous
hope that 2morrow nothing goes wrong
including tat e system will not go crazy
and bring unnecessary trouble to us
Stayed back 4 rehearsal again 2day
it continue till about 6.30pm
It is also e fourth time i skipped breakfast, recess and lunch
Shhh....better not let mum knows
Initially, i was kinda looking forward to today rehearsal
Actually, i was looking forward to e NDP video
Hmm, i viewed thru it once
and i felt a sudden pain in my heart.
E cerdits was e one responsible 4 my pain
AV WAS NOT ACKNOWLEGDED AT ALL!!!!!!!!
Goodness!!!! they thank each and everyone one
including e participating sec 4 class
but just left out av
i dun noe why
but i really felt bad after looking thru
we did so much and yet receive no credit at all
how should i answer to myself
for all e time and effort i put in for e past few weeks
for all e scoldings i receive from my parents for coming home late
for all and all
den, i was stuck in a dilema again
how should i answer to my juniors
how would they react if they saw e credits???
i really dun noe how much disappointment they will feel
i really hate to imagine that
however, my nightmare came true
my sec one juniors came and ask me after e rehearsal why were we not credited
i look at her and i really dun noe how to answer
i wanted to cry but i held my tears back
eventually, i told her plainly that that e treatment AV receives each time
She walked off
but i am sure she felt disappointed
was my answer rite????
was what i said too much
Was i jus a lousy senior????
on my way home, i suddenly thought of yanjie
i tried to think of her reaction when she sees e video
i noe she spent a lot of effort taling e raw clips over a few weeks
yet, e video did not display much of her clips
even they did, yanjie was also not included in e credits
Oh no, i really dun noe how to answer to her
It is going to be midnite now
7 more hours to NDP 2006
I am really really sick of this
so much unexpected has happened
i really dun noe what should i do
Maybe, we should jus give it our best 2morrow
and get it done and over with
After 2morrow, i hope all this memories will be erased off my mind
Stay strong
i will try my best
but i am not sure if i really can......