Creamy Puffs

2008-07-04T05:36:00.000-07:00

Alright, this blog has been so dead for quite a while.
time to wipe off the dust that's accumulating...

Blocks was terrible..
Both the studying process and the horrendous results i've got eventually..
oh well, time to work really really hard and to buck up
totally can forsee that life from term 3 onwards
will be filled with mugging, mugging and more mugging...

At least i manged to enjoyed myself during june hols...
haha, it's awesome to meet up with friends...
LOVE LOVE LOVE ALL OF THEM!!!!
went for rachel's birthday party on11th June (if i did not remember wrongly!)
HAAPY 17th BIRTHDAY RACHEL!!!! (though i know this came kind of late..)
meet up with joanne, kurinchi, rashmi, may, kelly
played badminton in the middle of the roads and den card games!
haha, i realises that i have quite a fast reaction...

Den went to watch HC harmonica concert with singyee, wanyan, szewaiy, gerilyn and yingying..
yeah, to support yen pin<3
meet up at thomson plaza before going
and gosh, we totally look stupid playing cooking mama on DS on the bus...
hahaha, there was a lady behnd us staring at us blowing at the DS, oh my...
but well, i guess it's all the fun and quality time that we've spent together.
and yup, after concert, me, sing, sw and ying walked backed to college to go toilet
cos we (strictly speaking, should be I) did not know where's the girls toilet in high school
haha and the college toilet at night looks really scary...

and there was YCAS , Youth Community Activism Symposium..
learnt lots of stuff there regarding environment
and made lots of new friends from different schools:)
haha, took lots of picture with Jess and others during open space technology..
and my sector won the open space tech!!!
and we had food for our presents..haha!

Okay, due to plain laziness
i am getting sian of narrating out what happened..
hmm..here's a summary:
camp facilitating at new town primary, youths.care facilitating, kopi with MP, science workshop, outings (lots of them) and definitely, my favourite activity of all, mugging:D

Hmm..i guess Jess's enjoying herself in Phuket now
while Sandra will be leaving for Bangkok soon after APYLS...
school's been terribly exhausting
and getting back blocks papers is more depressing..
damm it lah, flunked really bad for chem this time...
ahh!!! time to work hard on chem
and it's definitely time to get myself really disciplined!

But still, i thank God for his gift to me
for granting me with so many awesome new friends:)
thanks for being there when i am really bumped (especially over my chem grades)
and also helping me in so many ways!!!!
special mention to jess, sandra, winnie and those who comforted me..
and also jess for her slurpee that day!!! (haha, i love slurpee totally!)

I came across this quote online that day, it says,
"When good friends walk besides us,
on the trails that we must keep,
our burden seems less heavy
and the hills are not so steep.
The weary miles pass swiftly,
taken in a joyous stride
and the world seems a brighter and better place,
only when good friends walk by our side"

photos shall be up in the next post.
i am too lazy to uplaod them now!

till then.....

2008-05-15T09:33:00.000-07:00

Thank you:)

It's truly great to spend your birthday with ppl you love.

Thank you OG5 for giving me my birthday song! Calean's cake and charlton card!
Thank you 76 for my second song! and Winnie for your gift!
Thank you Clique for the superb tuesday's outingD
Thank you Sing, Pinn Xian, Gerilyn, Sze Waiy, Si Min, Liu kun and all i met at toa payoh stadium today! I'm really happy to see you guys again!
Thank you Yanjie for your gift and cake:D and juniors for my 3rd birthday song!
Thank you to all who messaged me and wished me happy birthday!

It may not be the birthday with the most presents
the one which attracts most attention,
but it's definitely the one that is most memorable
and I'm really really delighted to meet so many of you whom i don't expect to!

1 year closer to official drinking and smoking:D

17.

2008-05-13T07:34:00.001-07:00

It have been quite some time since i blogged.

Oh well, life is tiring as usual.
And i just woke up from my long nap of 5pm to 9.30pm:D
Now i am so convinced that sleeping late is a viscious cycle!
Still have to do chem and bio tutorials later:(

Got to go for dinner now..
hmm supper i guess:)

on a random note:
HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY QUINN!
HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY ALVIN!

2008-04-25T07:43:00.000-07:00

I seriously need to:

- have more discipline in my schoolwork
- learn to control my emotions better
- understand people and their needs
- accept the fact not all things will proceed in the way i want it to be
- accept my own flaws and mistakes
- learn that i cannot possibly please everyone around me

I REALLY NEED TO LEARN TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON.

Lonliness leads the soul and mind to dark corners,
where you are left alone with your one and only companion,
an unknown identity
clouding restlessly beneath your feet.

2008-04-23T08:58:00.001-07:00

So say goodbye for just a while
and through the tears you'll start to smile
For soon you'll be in Heavens
in Father's arms forever
And every step you're not alone
Love's by the side to keep you warm
No more looking back from here
Your journey home has only just began

i actually teared when i heard this...

Sometimes we know deep in that we have to learn to treasure and cherish
But at the same time
we never actually do it
because we all tend to take things for granted
Till the day when we actually lost it
and that's the day we all start to regret
but at that time, it will be all too late.

I do admit that you get to know more people in jc
but do you ever realise that at the same time,
you seems to know people less

now, i think i've become a total stranger to myself

2008-04-12T23:42:00.000-07:00

I have a million questions in my head
and i just need your one answer to clear all of them

i don't want anymore tear-drenched pillows
i really hate to tell you "I'm fine" with tears still running down my face
i am tired to keep pressing the redial button
only to spam your voice-mail with all my messages

The cracks in the concrete remind that no matter how strong you are
you will still fall apart at some point in your life

The sky isn't always blue
and the sun doesn't shines forever
so i guess it's okay to fall apart sometimes.

2008-04-08T09:46:00.000-07:00

it wasn't simple to tell you that i actually cared
but it was really easy to realise that you don't

i hate this feeling
the feeling of being so fragile and dependent
the feeling that breaking down anytime now is so possible
the feeeling of trying so hard,
yet you don't appreciate it or at the very least see it.

we took so much time and effort to painstakingly build it up
yet you took just a single moment to destroy it

it's falling
it's really falling apart.

2008-04-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

Love is a decision
Not a emotion or feeling, that if made from the heart
will outlast everything

I miss sing and sze waiy now:D
can't wait to see them this friday!

SY1 with SY2:D:D:D

2008-03-25T09:31:00.000-07:00

It's 2.30am in the morning
and my eyes just refuse to close.

GP assignment is ultimate crazy!!!!
it's suppossed to be exactly 500 words long
with zero grammer mistakes
yes, zero mistakes!
AHHH!!!
and he reserves the right to ask us re-write it
until he is satisfied
god!

and there's JTS plus OG outing 2morrow
to be exact, should be today.
(since it's way past midnight now)
the hole in my pocket is getting really big!
and i will be ultimate broke after today:(
cos JTS will be at swensons plus OG outing
plus class fund, newsweek subscription, chem notes, GP file....

and my throat is really painful now
and i dun even feel like speaking at all...
my voice still sounds alright
but i hurts like siao when i try to speak...
oh well...k-lunch during OG outing later:(
i guess i will just stone all the way!

Talked to Sing just now over msn:)
and we were talking about PW and PI.
she promise me that she will crash me at JTS at Parkway
(if her cca ends late:D)
YEAH!!!!
Haha, talking to Sing forever makes me so happy!
cos it's like talking to your soul-mate
and you know, your soul-mates will always be there for you
no matter what happens!

VJ Chinese Orchestra concert on 9th may.
anyone wants to go with me????

Love is a fire
But whether it is going to warm your heart
or burn down your house
you can never tell

2008-03-23T07:45:00.001-07:00

I wish i could just knock my head against the wall now
hopefully i will just lose my consciousness

I know i am struggling
I know i am losing grip
I know i am just a total stranger to myself now

i literally slept my day off today:(
sometimes i just love to sleep
cos i keeps my poor brain shut
and at the very least i won't get the chance to think too much.

i am exhausted
and my mind is in a mess now

it hurts to see you walk away.

2008-03-22T07:08:00.000-07:00

i think it's all my fault
i think i was the one who screwed things up.
i tried to salvage it
i really did
but it just felt like holding on to water in my hands
no matter how hard i tried to close my fingers as tight as possible
it will all flow out eventually.

Ahhh!!!! i am damm tired now
WHO WANTS TO MUG WITH ME TOMORROW????

2008-03-21T07:15:00.001-07:00

good friday
wasn't really good for me...
i slacked almost the whole day off...
did practically nothing!!!!

my head hurts terribly now
and i am in this very sleepy cum sian mood the whole day...
took a total of 4 naps in the day
when i actually woke up nearly near 10 today
and i still feel very sleepy now...
my appetite suck totally.
dun even feel like eating anything
so i was literally slacking on my bed the whole day
tried to do some chem
but i found out that i dun even understand bonding...
so doing tutorial is totally out of the question...

was talking to zhenrui just now...
discussing about what to do the next OG outing....
and i just sneezed consecutive for 6 times just now...
and i am feeling cold
even though i am sweating.

oh well..OG outing next wed during off-day...
hope that it will be fun!!!
it has been long since we had one...
okay, it should be that it has been long since we had a good one.
and let's hope more ppl can turn up this time:D

GP plus mugging 2morrow with Rachel!

if you know you are going to break them
pls don't give me empty promises
cos sometimes, i tend to pin my hopes too heavily on them
though i jolly well know the chances of disappointment.

2008-03-20T20:17:00.000-07:00

Daybreak is the only release of unknown anxieties,
that whips up a concotation of insecurities
the fear that is built up deep within
can only be removed by Light
for Light is the only eliminator of darkness
and i shall wait patiently for the first ray of Light
the very first ray that pentrates throught the dark clouds

I am still holding tight
but somewhere inside,
i am already lost,
uneasy and
on the verge of tears.

2008-03-18T07:14:00.001-07:00

okay..i am not exactly in the mood to write anything.
and maths test today was totally horrible:(
sure sure sure to fail this time...
and i am damm tired now...
given the fact that i had insomia for the last 2 nights
and i slept less than 8 hours altogether for last 2 days:(

By the way HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY JIAHAN!!!

okay, nothing much to say..
so here are some random pictures!

Valentines gifts:D

My gift to OG-mates!

Hand-made roses by me:)

beloved 4-mooers during CNY gathering!

BABA!!!

2008-03-16T07:26:00.001-07:00

Hols are ending in 1.5 hours times:(

Last day of March hols...
did not do anything much....
spent most of my time slacking off..
but i read thru my atomic structure notes!
and i went jogging today:D

okay, i have to mug maths now!
cos i going for comserve 2morrow
and i will reach home by 8:(
plus there is chem test on tuesday too:(
so most prob, i will not have time to mug much 2morrow...
mug mug mug...

Term 2's coming
another 10 weeks of torture and pain...

I wish someone will send me a sunflower these few days:(
i miss the way it effortlessly lightens up a person's day
and for you,
i promise i will hold these tears
and always give you my smile.

2008-03-15T05:31:00.000-07:00

I just burped
okay..that's not the point.

I woke up late today:(
really late this time...
supposed to leave house for GP at 10.40am
when i woke up the FIRST time
it was 8.35am...
so i was like
okay, got time to sleep somemore
and i slumped back to my bed.
and when i woke up the SECOND time....
to my horror, it was 10.20am already...
ahh!!!! i rushed my way thru morning rountine
and when i walked out of my house,
i suddenly realised that i forgot to bring my pencil case
and notes for Rachel.

Went for GP with Rachel
as usual, it was 2 hours of really entertaining session
Haha, Paul Chow is really a damm funny guy!!!!
we went thru stock phrases today
and we were talking about environmental rape, biological slavery, digital pearl harbour etc....
haha..den he was teaching us how to make our essay less "HDB" and more "landed property"
okay, after that he was "niaoing" me throughout the whole lesson
about how i will fail GP if i hate newsweek...

Talking about newsweek,
yes, yes i admit i dun like newsweek
cos i hate to do the questions that comes along with it:(
haha, i could still remember how 4M treat newsweek last time
we'll always bring them to where they belong,
the place where they can find their fellow soul-mates....
haha, the wonderful recycling bin!!!!
can always recall this scene of the recycling bin right outside the staff room
where it will always be full or sometimes,
even overflooded with newsweek during the last day of the term...
and yes, it's just outside the staff room...

Okay, so much about newsweek,
let me go back to what happened today.
After GP, went to high street centre to send my camera for repairs
and rachel was complaining all the way from peninsula plaza to high street centre
about how long we had to walk
when actually, it;s quite a short distance compared to PP
tsk, tsk, tsk...

After that, me and rachel decided to pangseh poo and joanne
so we went for lunch together:D
den we went plaza sing and strolled around
did nothing really productive
so after a while, rachel decided to go home to study dynamics herself,
since i know nuts about it
and yup, we took train home together:D

Oh well, today was a slack day with rachel
but nevertheless, it feels really good to go out with rachel
and it has been a long long time since we did so
and yes, we shall have a mugging session next week at Rachel place!!!!!

School's starting really soon in 2 days time:(
and yes, i dread school:(

2008-03-13T20:33:00.000-07:00

I finally see the sun!!!!
YAY!!!!
after so many dark and gloomy days
Oh, and i was reading the papers this morning when i realised
yesterday was the coldest day in Singapore for the past 74 years!

i guess i am falling sick really soon:(
woke up with a bloody, splitting headache
den was sneezing non-stop all around the house
okay, as i am typing this post
my feet are damm cold!!!
oh well..what a wonderful time to fall sick....

YLTC will be ending today!!!
hope all those who went are still feeling alright!
haha..somehow i miss my OG-mates who went for YLTC
it feels weird not seeing them online at night
i guess i wouldn't see them tonight either
cos they will most prob be too tired to go online

and OG outing 2morrow is still not confirmed:(
okay, let's hope i will receive Charlton's sms tonight!
if there's no OG outing,
i will either go for clique outing
or meet jin zaw to pass her my PE tee
and yes, there's still GP class 2morrow:(

That's all now
i still have to practice maths today
and go teach my cousin ss/geo later in the afternoon
which i practically can't remember a single shit
and all my notes are not with me:(
crap lah!!!!

I love the warmth from the sun:D
cos it reminds me of your pretty smiles:)

2008-03-13T03:56:00.001-07:00

I just confirmed my attendence for Cedar 50th Speech Day
YAY:D
Can't wait to see my beloved 4-mooers
and today gathering at Sng's place was cancelled:(

Cedar 50th Speech Day on 4th April
and i will be going back to receive GOLD award for getting 7 points for Os:)
it's on a Friday!!!!
and i have to be in Cedar by 4.30pm for rehearsals
when the actual ceremony starts only at 7.30pm:(
according to the letter, if we reach after 5pm, we'll be considered late
and cannot receive our award
haha..so i guess i will get to miss CT session:D
Haha, i am really really looking forward to speech day!!!!

Had a haircut yesterday
and now my hair is shorter and more layered
haha, my ponytail really shrinked a lot
thank god, it can still be tied up
but it takes me quite a while to do it
and i guess i have to wake up earlier next monday
so that i wouldn't have to run after 151 again!

Hmm..let me conclude all the work i have done so far:
- bio enzymes tutorial
- chem gas law tutorial
- maths tutorial and supplementary exercise 5 and 6
- econs tutorial 7B and 7C
- newsweek
- and maths TYS on graphing techniques

okay, that's all i did for the past few days
i still have to mug for maths and chem class test
and i need to revise my econs and bio too
cos it seems that there's really a lot of thing i don't know:(
and that means a lot of work to catch up!

and i am so depressed over the fact that my camera is spoiled
crap lah, dun even noe how it got faulty!!!!
oh well, thank god the warranty is not over yet
and i have to bring it down for repair this weekend
hopefully, it will okay by 4th April
so that i can take nice and pretty pictures with 4-Mooers on Speech Day!

and the raindrops continue to fall on my window panes
pitter-patter, pitter- patter....

2008-03-12T08:23:00.000-07:00

I've been having this feeling of emptiness
for the past few days
somehow
i feel that i am lost
lost my way and myself
in this game of life
and i find it really tough to find myself back anymore
it seems that i have really lost my aim in life
and i seriously have no idea why i am heading to now.

The most bitter tears shed over graves
are for words left unsaid
and deeds left undone.

Will i be the one shedding the most bitter tears?
maybe.

2008-03-07T06:32:00.000-08:00

Last Day of Term 1 2008
Can't believe i actually survived 10 weeks in Hwa Chong!
Let me now do a reflection on the past 10 weeks

Let me start with ORIENTATION!
JUMPSTART was really a memeorable experience for me.
i can really say that those 2 weeks of orientation
were the happiest days i had in Hwa Chong.
Met a group of really funky, cool and nice people....
OG5!!!!!!!
I seriously cannot imagine how life will be like without you guys.
Thanks for also being there for me!
orientation will really be different without you people
pls continue to stay in contact!
(and when is our next outing????)
LOVE YOU PEEPS ALWAYS!!!!!

After orientation, we had our CIVICS TUTOR GROUP (CT)
08S76 for me, with Mr Ngoh as our CT
had problems fitting in at first
but i guess it's getting a lot better now:D
there are actually lots of nice ppl in the class:)
let's hope that the class can get more and more bonded and united
after all, we'll all be together for the next 2 years:D
so why not make it a fun and exciting 2 years filled with fond memories?

After CTs were formed was the RELEASE OF O LEVELS RESULTS
scored 7 points, with 5 A1 and 3 A2.
cried during relaesed of results
cos i was afraid that i could not make it back.
had comforts, hugs and encouragements from the 4-mooers
a great thank you to rachel, Joanne, Singyee, Pinn Xian, Sze Waiy, Simin, Huiyi......
and many many more who have spent the last 2 years with me:D
I guess all of us had spent 4 wonderful years in cedar
and working together hard for the last 2 years
to achieve an average LIR5 of 9.6 for the class!
I am really really pround of ecah and everyone of you:D
wish you ppl all the best in your JCs!
Oh, not forgetting all my wonderful juniors
who were with me for the past 3 years
hugs to yanjie, jin zaw, yolanda......
you guys have been a great bunch of friends:D

After all the PAE procedures and all sorts of registrations....
I MADE IT BACK TO HWA CHONG
but Huiyi did not.
I seriously feel that she deserved a place in Hwa Chong
more than anyone else i noe.
but well, she was posted to TJ eventually
though she did not get to stay
i believe God has other things in store for her
so all the best for your college life:D

Then the honeymoon period was over
and here comes all the serious stuffs
LECTURES, TUTORIALS, CLASS TESTS, LECTURE TESTS
and till now, i failed 2 tests
Chem lecture test and GP essay
i guess i have to buck up now...
cos i heard blocks are coming soon
though not so soon, since it's like after june hols
but still...i should start working really hard now
since i am seriously lagging behind already:(

Joined INTERACT CLUB as my CCA
and had lots of fun with my iGroup2 doing IU week together
haha, just came back from iGroup dinner
and we did AAR today
plus some gossiping during AAR:D
and very soon, we'll be having and iGroup outing together:D

Okay..actually there are a lot more events that took place
but well, i am just too lazy to list all of them.
Overall, i have learnt a lot this term
from making new friends to having more self-discipline
i learnt that it is through adversity that makes one stronger
both physically and mentally
and if we are faced with challenges
what we should do is to take on these challenges and do our best to overcome them
though it might be difficult at times
as long as we have done our very best
not tried our very best
i believe we'll all get what we deserve.

That's all for me now
and well...
i promise i will work very very very hard this March hols
and STOP PROCRASTINATING!!!!!

2008-03-05T05:41:00.000-08:00

教室里那台风琴
叮咚叮咚叮嚀
像你告白的声音
动作一直很轻
微笑看你送完信
转身离开的背影
喜欢你字跡清秀的关心

那温热的牛奶瓶
在我手中握紧
有你在的地方
我总感觉很窝心
日子像旋转木马
在脑海里转不停
出现那些你对我好的场景

你说过牵了手就算约定
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像来不及许愿的流星
再怎麼美丽也只能是曾经
太美的承诺因為太年轻
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像是精灵住错了森林
那爱情错的很透明

2008-03-04T07:24:00.000-08:00

I regret
I regret to tell you that i cannot live up to your expectation
I regret to tell you that i am really sorry
I regret for all the tempers that i lost this week
I regret for creating such a tense atmosphere
I regret for making everyone unhappy
I regret for giving myself so much misery

Maybe it was all wrong from the start
I REGRET MAKING THIS DECISION

2008-02-29T18:20:00.000-08:00

Ships that pass in the night,
and speak each other in passing,
Only a signal shown,
and a distant voice in the darkness;

So on the ocean of life,
we pass and speak one another,
Only a look and a voice,
then darkness again and a silence.

2008-02-29T06:29:00.000-08:00

LEAP YEAR WITH OG5 RAWKED TOTALLY:D
LETS' MEET 4 YEARS FROM NOW
SHALL WE?

2008-02-28T07:02:00.000-08:00

Take a step forward
and soon you will be enjoying eternal happiness

2008-02-26T14:01:00.001-08:00

I am a sinner
and i truly derseves to die

2008-02-25T07:04:00.000-08:00

POP today!
and ARES WON FAC DANCE!!!!!!

WHOO!!!!

Though i must really comment that
the other 3 facs did a really good job too!
serious..i mean it
as long as you guys have enjoyed yourselves
i guess winning or not is no longer that important!

O2 with 76...
well..it was really different with OG5.
i seriously miss you guys really much!!!!
ahh!!!!
pls pls pls have an outing soon!

haha..den we did mass dance!!!
and we were supposed to do it with someone from other fac!
did with xiaotian this time!!!
it was fun,
though i dun noe most of the steps!!!
and ppl from OG5 were close each other!
steffi and heather on the left
jiahan in front of me
chipmunk and ruixian behind me!!!!

nevertheless..i still enjoyed song session with 76!
haha..it felt great to sing together with you guys
and going around as a "class train"
or whatever you call it!

I am really drained now
slept so litttle last night due to ILP and chem test
and ILP IS FINALLY OVER!!!!
and CHEM TEST IS TOTAL ULTIMATE SCRWED UP!!!!!
my only hope now is that i wouldn't get single digit for it!!!!

that's all for now!!!
i need to sleep already!!!
YAY!!!! I love sleep:D
seriouly i do.

2008-02-22T05:40:00.000-08:00

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashame, my love will get you home.
If its only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home
Boy, my love will get you home
Boy, my love will get you home

If you are tired,
why don't you take a rest?
my shoulders are always here for you to lean on.

2008-02-20T07:49:00.000-08:00

Life is unfair
isn't it?

I am so sorry if i made you cry
i am so sorry to make you feel so sad
sorry Huiyi. sorry.
you are the most deserving girl i know to get a place in hc.
you worked really hard. i noe you did
and i really have to thank you for all your help over the last year
thank you for all your assurance you also give me before exams
thank you for all your encuragement when i was down
without you, i would not have come so far.
no matter where you go eventually
i believe you will continue to shine
continue to be a really outstanding pupil
continue to strive for the best
continue to bring joy to others
i miss your smile.
your broad wide smile with your 2 tiny eyes
so pls dun cry

i believe that if things did not go your way
do not fret
cos everyone will have his/her fair share of challenges throughout the whole life
its just a matter of sooner or later
as long as you continue to stay positive and optimistic
i believe all these will soon be over
and the road ahead will look better than ever:D

Jiayou Huiyi:D
i noe you will make it through
and i promise i'll always be there for you!

For those who did not make it..

don't despair

you never know what God has in store for you:D

And to all those who got into their choice of school
congrats!!!!
may you all continue to work hard to strive for the better!

2008-02-19T06:46:00.000-08:00

Singyee, come crash me on thursday:D

2008-02-18T05:05:00.000-08:00

Postings will be out 2morrow....
i guess i have quite a high chance of getting out!
i got all my document prepared already
so all i have to do 2morrow is to
get appeal form and fill it up...
and haha..i dun now where to check my posting results 2morrow:(
according to SMB, it is the noticeboard outside conference room
okay..someone will have to tell me where the hell is conference room!!!!!!

I just realised that i dun noe how to go VJ from my house
some kind soul will have to tell me how to go there from Hougang
in case i have to go there on wed
which i think it's quite a high chance!

11 hours more to release of posting
it's either Hwa Chong or VJ.

2008-02-17T03:00:00.000-08:00

I just managed to dig out all my stuff i need for appeal:
- Testimonial
- CCA Records
- Prelims Results
- O Levels Results
- HSK Results
- Cedar meritorious award cert
- Cert of achievement for SYF
- Cert of appreciation as committee member
- Cert of academic excellence for 3rd in Sec 2
- Cert for New Soith Wales 2006 Science competition-Distinction

Okay..that's probably all i have to appeal with
i noe it's quite pathetic
i am going back cedar 2morrow with Huiyi
to get all these stuff certified
and i guess i am going to appeal
regardless whether i will get accepted or not through appeal
at the very least
i tried
so that i will have no regrets later on.

Oh well..this weekend is ending
and all my tutorials are mostly not done, except econs:(
and i haven studied for my chem test on thurs yet.
i better start soon cos i can assume that i will be busy the coming week
2morrow will most likely have no time after going back cedar
tuesday and wednesday will be really busy with appeal stuff...

Anyway,
what's the point of studying if i get out of HC after appeal on wednesday?

2008-02-16T05:34:00.000-08:00

I am tired now.
had wonderful plans for today but as usual
nothing really worked out for me.

i was supposed to wake up early today
so that i can do some work before i go GP....
and the best part was that when i woke up,
i saw that it was 9.55am on the clock...
at first i thought the clock was spoilt
cos i thought i woke up early today.
den, went to look at my phone...
and to my horror, it was like 10.00am.
Crap, i just washed-up and took train to city hall for GP.

GP was fun today:D
At least i did not fall asleep during class time
Paul Chow was telling us how clumsy he was during Valentines'
that he fell into the drain and had 2 sprained fingers
Haha..den we talked about paper 2..
he was like "Class do you know, i took A Levels GP for 21 years cos i have been teaching this for the past 21 years"
hehe and he taught us the most important rule of GP:
"Always be Kiasu and write more, cos cambridge markers are carpricious people"

After GP, went out with calean, zhenrui and charlton
watched performance at this auditorium near somerset
Den went home in the train,
slept for 1 hour
had dinner
and realised that i have not done a single piece of work today.
CRAP!!!! have too start now
so that can finish them by 2morrow..
then can sleep early on sunday's night
so that on monday, i would't look like a zombie
and wouldn't have to take long naps on monday's afternoon
and wouldn't have to sleep late on monday night
and wouldn't let this viscious cycle run for 1 more week!

There are as many nights as days,
and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course.
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness,
and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness

2008-02-15T05:34:00.001-08:00

This week has been a busy one.
Valentines', Maths test, GP essay, Online chem tests...
And i still have GP tuition 2morrrow
den meet Calean up for some performance at somerset:D

Anyway, i am quite sure next week will be a depressing one.
Posting coming out on next tuesday.
and the deputy principal said this at CT session today,
"Looking at the figures, not all 7-pointers can make it back"
so yup, have to prepare myself mentally
and start digging out all my testimonials, cca records and stuff
in case i'm appealing.

Gathering at Mr Sng's house 2morrow is cancelled
will be having it during march hols instead.
Oh well, more time for me then..
i have lots of stuff to do this weekend:
- GP's Newsweek questions
- Protein tutorial
- read and undestand chem notes on atomic structure + try out the examples
- econs tutorial 6B
- econs ILP slides
- mug for chem test next week
- maths tutorial 5B
- catch up on my sleep
- write letters:D
- dig my testimonial and cca records

Okay, that's all i can think of now.
maybe will add on to this list later
if i can think of anymore.

Should i appeal?
Or should i just start afresh?

2008-02-14T02:53:00.000-08:00

HAPPY VALENTINES' TO ALL!!!

14th Feb
the special day of the year
First valentines' in Hwa Chong.
might be the last too..(you never know)

Anyway, today was a fun day.
really enjoyed going round to give ppl gifts:D
it's great to see the SMILES on others' faces.
especially all my beloved OG-mates!!!!

Somehow, i miss Valentines' in Cedar
I seriously miss ALL the 4-Mooers
all the time we spent mugging together for 'O's
all the fun we had during classes
and all the enjoyment during graduation
Haha..kind of really miss Huiyi's smses calling us "darlings"
Hugs and kisses to all 4-Mooers:D

Maths test was totally screwed up:(
i am 100% sure that i will flunk it.
now, i can only pray that i dun get zero
BLEAH!!!!!

Just a quote to share on this lovely day
" LOVE NEVER FAILS, LOVE NEVER ENDS"

2008-02-12T05:45:00.000-08:00

"To dare to live alone is the rarest courage
Since there are many who had rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field,
than their own hearts in their closet."

I admit i dun have this courage.
Do you?

2008-02-09T19:27:00.000-08:00

I am going to flunk maths test next week
ARGGH!!!!!
I NEED HELP IN TRIGO AND BINOMIAL!!!!

i am going out later:D
to get Valentines' stuff.
Next week will be a busy week
Wed: Cross-country
Thurs: Maths test and VALENTNES'
Friday: GP essay test

i am still having diarrhea
went to toilet n times since morning:(
anyway, i just did my chem pre-lecture test
scored 1/4.
i guess i am rather hopeless in chem.....

Okay, thats' all for now
have to go and mug maths now (though i seriously dun get anything)
Cheers:D

2008-02-08T17:53:00.000-08:00

I guess i am falling sick
was coughing and sneezing away in the morning
plus having stomachaches
that's my CNY.

Sometimes i really wonder if i made the right choice.
if i could reverse time back,
i dun noe if i would have done the same.

2008-02-07T18:04:00.000-08:00

I feel really lost these few days
somehow i feel that i no long belong
the feeling of drifting further and further away
can be really painful
though i tried really hard to hold it tight and close to me
it never fails to pull me away
the torment i am facing is getting more and more intense
i wonder how much longer i can withstand

It's 2nd day of CNY
i am at home all alone.

2008-02-04T06:42:00.000-08:00

"Love never dies a natural death.
It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source.
It dies of blindness
And errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds;
it dies of weariness,
of withering,
of tarnishing."

I am tired now.
Let me rest, will you?

2008-02-03T07:19:00.000-08:00

Some say time is the best medicine to heal the heart
but to me, it is just a way to escape from reality.

i miss you
seriously, i do.

2008-02-02T06:41:00.000-08:00

i just came back from Interact Orienatation Day Camp
Damm tired now.
Tutorials all not done yet:(

And there's still CT outing 2morrow.

2008-01-31T04:56:00.000-08:00

My dear mortal found out who i am already...
Haha, not much disappointment actually
cos, i was quite surprised that i actually managed to hide my identity so long:D

Had chem prac today
which i totally screwed-up!!!!
Ahh!!! Calculations are really difficult...

The journey is long and exhausting.
Maybe we should just stop to take a rest.

2008-01-30T05:04:00.000-08:00

The absence of love is the most abject pain

2008-01-29T05:39:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YANLING!!!!!

Today's my sis's 19th birthday
too bad for her, she did not get to enjoy it
she was mugging at home,
desperately trying to prepare for the semestral exams 2morrow.
oh well, maybe we'll give a celebration soon,
perhaps after ssemestral exams???

I just finished my part for my econs project.
hmm..not exactly finished my part
but finished what i have been allocated so far:D
anyway, econs project is going pretty well..
Thank godness, I have motivated groupmates to help me move along,
Quinn, Emily, Zhengshan and Winnie:)

There's 2.4 trial run 2morrow...
Hope i will get a satisfied timimg.

Love can sometimes be magic.
But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion.

2008-01-28T06:12:00.000-08:00

I am sick of econs project now
can't understand a single thing about demand, supply and elasticity concepts
BLEAH!!!!

Today was a really bad day.
chem lecture was horrible.
i dun understand a single thing lah...
guess i am going to fail chem lah...

I watched the orientation video just now.
brought back really fond memories
though it's like only 5 days,
i swear it's going to stay with me the whole life
i suddenly missed my OG a lot.
though we still meet up everyday (not all, but some)
somehow the feeling still lingers in my heart till today...

We enjoy warmth because we have been cold.
We appreciate light because we have been in darkness.
By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness

2008-01-27T05:47:00.000-08:00

i did my JAE today..
Here are my choices
1st: Hwa Chong Institution
2nd: Victoria JC
3rd: Nanyang JC
4th: National JC
5th: Temasek JC
6th: Anderson JC

Okay..
i noe my choices are really dumb
but yup..
that's seriously what i wanted..
in fact i struggled whether to put VJ first or NY first.

7 points
Where should i end up in???

2008-01-26T05:46:00.000-08:00

I am sorry.

I kind of disappointed myself.
and those around me.

7 points
so near to perfect, yet so far.

still.
i have to pick myself up.
regardless how reluctant i am to do so.
but, pls give me time.
i promise i will try really hard.

thank you to those ppl around me for the past few days.
My juniors: yanjie, yolanda, siaotian, jin zaw, zoey...
My wonderful classmates of 4M: pinn xian, singyee, sze waiy, rachel, simin, huiyi, joanne, kurinchi and many many more.
My beloved OG5: THANK YOU YOU GUYS FOR ALSO BEING THERE FOR ME

Thank you for those who have helped me in a way or another.
i apologise if i forget to mention anyone
i thank each and everyone from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you.

Why do ppl have to lose things before they learn to cherish and appreciate???
i fell this time
i admit i fell really hard
it hurts
it really does.

2008-01-25T17:02:00.001-08:00

7 points
it's either in or out of HC.

2008-01-23T04:56:00.000-08:00

TOMORROW IS THE BIG DAY!!!!!
It decides my fate for the rest of the year...
So yup
hope it will turn out fine..

Even if it does not,
I will juat learn to face it and move on..
after all
that's what life is all about.
adapting to changes and moving on.

My friend wrote this to me today:
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Chirst Jesus"

May all turn out well...
even if it does not
I believe God has something else in store for me.

2008-01-21T05:15:00.000-08:00

I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments
and glue them together again
so that i can tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new.
What is broken is broken
Seriously, and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best
than mend it
and eventually see the broken places as long as I lived.

2008-01-19T07:09:00.000-08:00

Week 3 coming to end soon..
So that means honeymoon period will soon be over
with the official timetable released
I guess mugging starting soon...

Anyway, I truly enjoyed myself for the past 3 weeks..
More one the first 2 weeks though..
But still, life goes on
and hopefully, my upcoming year will be fulfilling and enriching.

'O's results coming out next week..
many are speculating that it will most prob be out on friday...
Ahhh...I WANT TO STAY IN HWA CHONG...
but if i get kick out...
oh well, just blame it on fate then..

Anyway, I went for my first GP tuition today
the teacher was great..
at least he was humorous and engaging
so yup, really look forward to my first GP lesson in HC next week.
Hopefully, the teacher would not be too bad either.

When you realise how hard it is to change yourself,
you begin to understand how little chance we have of changing others.

2008-01-18T05:05:00.000-08:00

It's always easy to close your eyes to things you dun want to see
But it's never simple to close your heart to things you dun want to feel

2008-01-16T04:54:00.000-08:00

Today was a much better day
And I really have to thank Winnie for teaching me Maths today:D
Also, have to thank my group of CT mates
who were with me today
at least, I dun feel so out of my class now.

Went for Interact Club Briefing...
I WANT TO JOIN INTERACT..
it's really meaningful...
Like what e VP said, "it's e beneficiaries that matters most"

2morrow will be a tiring day...
4 lessons plus fac session
plus OG outing at night:)

2008-01-15T02:56:00.000-08:00

This shall be a post dedicated to my beloved OG5
They are really a bunch of ultra nice ppl.
So, here i go:

I could still remember the first time i met them
felt a little apprehensive and i admit, i felt scared in e beginning
but soon, i realised that they are really friendly ppl
orientation at HC would definitely be incomplete without them
I am grateful to God
to sent them to me
Thank you OG5 for always being there for me.
Special mention to e following ppl:

Calean- My very first friend i made in HC. Thank you for being so nice and encouraging. You are definitely a great pal!!!!

Yong Quan- Our OG Rep. Thank you for being so enthu and responsible throughout e orientation period:)

Michelle- Thank you for your joy and fun you brought to e group. Really miss your laughter nowadays.

Charlton- Thank you for informing us about OG outings, OG tee and stuff. Really appreciate your efforts.

Zhen Rui- My fellow e-mo mate:) thank you for encouraging me when i was down. Hope you will join interact too.

Alvin- The friendly counsillor from high school. Haha, go run for council:) can make it one!!!

Chipmunk and Rui Xian- Haha..love your chipmunk voice so much:) anyway, rui xian is nice too, though your name is damm similar to rui wen. Haha..but just to say, Catholic High boys are nice too!!!

Gloria-The girl with the super scary stare..Haha, miss going home with you and taking 151 togethe. All e best!

Jiahan-The guy working at nebocafe..Haha, but also a great dentist at "polar bear"...Best wishes to you:D

QinSheng- OG5 wonderful OGL..Thank you for all e effort you put in for the group. Thank you for being such an enthu and superb OGL..Jiayou for 'A' Levels:D

And to the rest of OG5, I am sorry if i did not mention you, but deep within, I sincerely thank you guys for making orientation a fun and memorable experience for me. Yitian, Walter, Grace, Kee En, Feng Lin, Heather, Jennifer, Li Na, Miao Ran, Kuan Hua, Rebecca, Steffi, Chia Wu, Nicolette, Hao Yang, Xiao tian...thank you for sharing this wonderful experience with me.

OG5 will never be complete without anyone of you. May the spirit of OG5 stays inside the hearts of all of you.

My love, My OG5.

2008-01-14T07:12:00.000-08:00

I went for study trip today with my OG mates.
was with Michelle and Jiahan:)
Anyway, I kinda of managed to figure out partial fractiobs now.
YAY!!!

I guess I'm feeling much better today
Cos, maybe there was OG outing yeaterday????
Haha, but still, i haven found that feeling I had with my OG in my CT.
Guess it will take some time.

Please dun turn back and say goodbye
For i need you to be by my side.

2008-01-12T19:01:00.000-08:00

I just changed my blogskin...
Hmm, guess it looks much better now.
Anyway, I am really looking forward to OG outing later:)

The road ahead is long and wide
I wonder if i can last the ride.

2008-01-11T09:08:00.000-08:00

If I were to fall and collapse
would you come and give me a hand
before i break down physically and mentally?

You won't right???
I bet you won't.

2008-01-09T05:06:00.001-08:00

Maybe we're trying;
Trying too hard.
Or maybe, we are just torn apart.

2007-12-10T18:59:00.001-08:00

I am havaig a blocked nose today....

Anyway, I came home at around 10 plus last night
and was too tired to blog:(

Yesterday had lessons at tampines
quite alright overall...
cos there was only 5 students who came yesterday

Kids english pronounciation was really funny
there was a kid who said this yeasterday
" Teacher, this one "COWET" or not?"
Actually, this was wat she meant.
" Teacher, this one CORRECT or not?"
Haha:):)

After class, glen and i went to but 'Teh" for lao shi
Lao shi class ended super late lah
so we ended up sitting in the void deck for 1/2 hour plus plus
waiting for her to come and fetch us
so we ended up marking the assignments
and YAY, we finish all the assignments supposed to mark for the weeek:)

Raindrops fell on my window panes the whole of last night.

2007-12-08T04:30:00.000-08:00

I just came home from today abacus class
Feeling really tired and drained

But anyway, Yu En finally learn to do 2 digit sums today. Yay!!!!
( by the way, Yu En is only four this year:D)

And luckily, today class wasn't as bad as last week
Last week was really atrocious
At least, we had some kind of order in the classsroom today
and yup, everyone managed to finish doing their work:)))))

Oh, and i meet someone on bus 89 today with the same OP shirt as me:)

Hmm..I am feeling kind of hungry now
Shall go and makan already:D

Tomorrow will be a better day:)

2007-12-07T04:18:00.000-08:00

Halo...
Long long long time never blog
Haha, hols are here again:)
slacking time begins now...

Never really did any work recently
even going out much lesser....
Most of the time, i stayed at home with my BaBa:):):)
at least i managed to catch up some of my reading
just finish a book called "A CHILD AMONG US"
nice story:)

A quote to share " Love can be most powerful when expressed without words"
How far do you agree with this?

Oh, by the way Black Sheep really love BaBa
does BaBa love Black Sheep as well?

2007-05-11T05:05:00.001-07:00

It felt as though i just fell
down from a tall cliff
all the way down to the ground
really hard this time.
it was painful and i bleed within
i dun noe if i can make it again
back to where i was
but i really doubt my ability

i tried to be strong
but was useless
i cried
i really tried to console myself
but it all ended up with my tears flowing down

my first time
my first time crying in school.

2007-04-05T18:16:00.000-07:00

CONFESSION OF A FAILURE

I dun really noe what has come over me
but I am really depressed, totally depressed throughout the whole week
i think i am really burning out soon
so please pardon wat i am gonna to say
in the following post

I wanted to post this post up since last night
but was simply too tired after i came home from school
took a bath, had dinner and then went to bed straight

I think I am on the verge of breaking down pretty soon
there was so many times this week in schhol
that i almost wanted to cry
but was lucky enough to hold back my tears
I am just not in the condition to do anything now
My studies is totally bad, did horribly for so many of my papers
and screwed up so many of my tests

I tried to console myself that i am just stll inside the hols mood
but I know it is of no use
3rd week of Term 2 already, it's 3rd week now
going to the fourth soon
yet, I am still trying to say i am within the hols mood???
I think I should just stop denying to myself
cos self denial is no good for one
definitely.

I screwed up my Chemistry SPA on tues
which i horribly had no idea how to do the planning and stuff
Wednesday, I got back my physics test paper
I only scraped thru with 10/20
Everyone said that it was a simple paper
My classmates scored like on the average of 16 to 20,
with a handful of full marks
Thursady, I had e-maths test
I stared at the questions for such a long time
and i did not know how to do all the transformation questions
I left several questions undone and handed up my paper
That's why i am rather confident that i will fail this test.
This was how terrible i perform accademically for my Term 2 studies

Sometimes, I just hate the feeling of akwardness between you and me
i really dun noe whether you are a fiend to me
or a stranger whom i totally dun noe
We meet everyday in the morning to do the normal ritual stuff
yet, we actually did not talked to each other at all
till yesterday afternoon
The type of cold shoulder you gave me each time
makes me really shudder
i seriously dun understand the type of relationship that is between us
Many a times, i told myserlf to ignore everything and just fulfill my part will do
but Many a times, the sense of guilt overwhelms in me
when i see that you ppl are actually facing problems in the process
Many a times, i convinced myself so hardly
to go and help you all
but i know
Many a times, i am going to be hurt by you again
I dun noe how to say this but
You can be extreme nice to me when you really need my help
If not, you will usually let me fade into the background
treating me as though i am did not exsist in the first place
I hate the treatment you give me
I hate the distance that is between you and me
I hate myself more because we are drifting apart so soon
Perhaps all the while, it is just my fault
that i did not do my part well in maintaining this collapsing friendship
Or perhaps, all the while
our friendship did not even started......

Mid-year is going to start in 3 weeks time
I really dun noe how to survive thru this time
i am afraid I will break down and fall apart
I am hurt phsically and mentally
and i think
i am sinking
deeper and deeper into the depression

March hols reflection

2007-03-18T02:54:00.000-07:00

Hey Hey...
I am finally blogging again after about 2 months plus?
haha, had some connection problems with my house internet so did not really had e chance to blog...

Last day of march hols...
did not really do much this time
and of course, my march hols plan failed terribly...
wanted to do some a-maths TYS on trigo
but ended up strugling to complete my homework
finally managed to complete my homework about 3 hours ago????
yeah, so i am going out tonight
and this is how my March hols going to end.....

Anyway, i am glad that i now have better connection at home now
but, my PC is still not working well
so i shall use laptop to do my stuff temporary...

I guess i slacked really lot during the past week
almost had afternoon naps everyday for 2 to 3 hours
i know i am pig
but really, the motivation to work hard is still not there
the has also been a mentality that there is still tomorrow and the day after
so ended up really doing nothing for the first few days of the hols
till about thursday, i realised that work is piling up and so,
started to do
but i realised that my sec 3 work is really lousy...
OMG, guess i am not going to survive well for my mid year

But, there is also the pros and cons
hope that i really had adequate rest this time
and recharged myself fully
so yeah, i am going to look forward to term 2
when it is going to be my last term of activity for my cca

I am going to do my best
and strive for the better to come:)

2007-01-05T05:00:00.000-08:00

My Little MeiMei

I am gonna to write something about my younger sis
Since i promised her sometime ago
to write her something on my blog so here i go...

Honestly saying, she is a rather nice sister to have
and most importantly,
she loves me a lot
perhaps sometimes,
even more than anyone, including my parents
but i shall emphasis
it is only SOMETIMES

I could still remember the days during my primary school
when i would be the first to rush out of school once i hear the dismissal bell
to do nothing, but just rush home to play with her
Then, she was just a little kid
sleeping soundly in the cot
showing her pearly little pink toes
that was not covered by the small blanket she used to have
I would just feel contented looking at her
and holding on to her soft fingers
for days after days, without getting tired of it
Actually, to think of it now,
it really seems rather dumb

As time passes, she grew up,
learnt to talk, learnt to walk
and also learnt to play
I could still remember the time
when she would chase me round and round the house
just to try to catch me
she falls one time after another
but she did not cry, neither did she stop
she would pick herself up and continued the chase

Finally,she was going to school at last
she was a rather quiet girl in school
who did not associates much
den, i attended her first sports meet during nursery
and saw her first time in a competition
it was just a simple race organised by the school
and to my surprise
she actually came in first and won a small little golden medal for herself:)

She went to my primary school
and in most teachers eyes, she was an attentive and well behaved pupil
Haha, i couldn't say anything else
except that she managed to fool most of her teachers
She was becoming a little brat a home then
who would start to argue with us
and did not put in much efforts in her work
unless being "pushed" by us
therefore, all the while, her academic performance
was merely normal to all but never excellent

Though she did not excel academically,
she knows how to care for others and most importantly,
knows how to love others
I dare to say that
she is perhaps the one who can understand my best in this world currently
she knows me very well and really understands me
sometimes, she dun literally say it out it
but displays it in some little actions of hers

Whenever i cry, she would come to me,
give me a hug and kiss,
take off my specs and wipe my tears for me
den, she would come out with some ultra lame joke or stuff
just to make me happy
and see my smile

Even till today, she has the habit of waiting for me to come home in e afternoon
provided she has no class at nite and forced to go to sleep by my mum
I could still remember during the hols
when i went to orchard for some discussions and stuff
till about 4 in the afternoon
she kept herself awake after lunch
just to wait for me to come home
i asked her why she wanted to wait since i brought the house keys out
and her reply was really unexpected
she thought that i have not taken lunch
so wanted to wait for me
so that she could help me heat up e food for my lunch
i felt happy then
cos i felt loved

Sometimes, i would wonder how my life would be
if she had not came into my life
I dun noe, really, i can't imagine
i am really glad that i have such a nice sister though she can be rather irritating at times
I swear that i really mean what i say
not just saying it for the sake of saying
For i noe, whatever happens
she will always be here for me:)

Thursday, 30th November

2006-11-30T05:41:00.000-08:00

One month passed
and i did so little in e month
spent all my time slacking and slacking away
the body is strong
but the mind is weak
<> guess i am really rotting away

Went back school yesterday nite
to do NP annual campfire duty
we were dismissed at 10 plus
den after seeing Fiona and Sili parents fetched them
me and peichun walked out of pp
talking crap and crap along the way out
den suddenly, two dogs started barking at us
we got a shock and freaked ourselves out
haha,den a man rode a bicycle behind us
and we thought it was a dog chasing us
so, two shock in a row
hehe, we den walked safely out of pp
and i jay-walked on e way
i took e train and reached hougang in 15 mins time

the distance i had to walk from the station to my home
is rather a long one
i was walking ultra slow i guess
cos a lot of ppl took over me
was thinking about you
wondering wat you would be doing
on e opposite side on the Earth
den was thinking whether u would see those tiny little stars
shining so brightly in the dark sky

A sudden urge to meet u up
to make u hold my cold hands tightly
so that i could feel your warmth and love
to hear your voice
which gave me so much assurance
wanted to call u
but thought that it would be about 2 plus in e morning for u over there
and did not want to disturb
so yah, began to take a stroll
to enjoy the cool breeze that blew past my face

I regret not cherishing u when u was there
i regret not spending time with u when i could
and now
it all seems so far and long

missing u
really missing u

2006-11-16T05:52:00.000-08:00

Went back to school today for camp discussion
was rather enjoyable
cos, at least half e group turned up
and yea, the media ppl were rather enthu in e whole thing
we manage to came up with a draft outline of e concert item
this is a good sign
i suppossed

Discussion end at 10 plus
den went to IT lab to break e lousy SVA news to ppl in group 2
somehow, i felt like i was talking inside my own world
they were not very responsive throghout e whole thing
den some of them request to join group 1
but miss wee said it was unfair
so i guess, it will be a withdraw
or a "continue to do but enter next year."

So sfter that i went to help yanjie pack LTC AV stuff
Haha, went all over the school to find e line jet wires and mike
I guess e bio-tech system in school does not like miss wee
cos she had to tap her fingerprint so many times
as many as 5 times today
before she saw 'Acess granted"
Haha, Mr Chris Chan managed to open in one try
so hah, e system dun like miss wee:)

After we finally finish packing
me and yanjie went to eat in e canteen
we had cup noodles and drinks
as we were walking back to e foyer
I saw my CL juniors
First thing which came to mind was
" Gosh what are they here."

I went up and asked if they were here for backdrop painting
and they said yes
I was like," Did u ppl receive e message in e morning?"
both said they did not
after a while, i realised that both of them changed their phone no.
so e message could not reach them eventually

Later, i received a call this afternoon
and Li Thong said that one sec one parent actually called up
and scolded her for e late information
actually, we also knew it as late as yesterday night
and it was not that we did not inform
we did, but just that they changed their no. and did not receive
so true enough, e sec one should also hold some responsibility right?
as in, she herself change her phone no. and did not inform e committee at all
so we sent to the wrong person eventually and it was not entirely our fault
I admit e com was also wrong
in e sense that we had the notice up too late
that's why not everyone received it
but den if you ppl were to change your no. is it your responsibility to inform us

I am not blaming anyone now
but just treat this as a lesson
so that i hope each and everyone will have a greater sense of responsibilty
and really hope no more communication breakdown will happen again

sometimes, these ppl should put themselves in our shoes
we have sec 3 extra lessons
CCA committments
school work to handle
and I admit this year com got extra work to do
E ultra big CNY backdrop, notice boards and even a CCA banner
they just dun understand us
and they dun see that even we are not performing that well as expected
we are really doing our best in whatever we have
so sometimes
we are also tired
at e least
we are still human beings

2006-11-15T06:24:00.000-08:00

BAD NEWS!!!!!!
we might have to drop out from SVA
gosh, wat's going on?
I could still remember all e excitement we had on our first briefing
And now, it;s all gonna end

Miss wee raised this issue today after camp briefing
cos, due to some unknown reasons
okay, maybe they are known but i just dun noe
the two groups of 6 per group
suppossedly working togather for a video
ended up with:
Group 1: 2 sec ones, sarah and jinzaw
Group 2: 1 sec two, yanjie
so now, we might not be able to submit from time
so yea, we might have to withdraw from the competition

The truth is always cruel and heart-wrenching
Such situation is definately not we want to see
Though u guys said it was okay
but, i could sense e dissappointment that u all had
I saw all e efforts you ppl put into for the video
staying abck in e IT lab till 7 at night
Going skate park to film till night time
i noe it was exhausted and tiring for u all
but yea, look on the bright side okay:)

Jin zaw and Sarah: Thank you for putting in so much effort
thank u for e enthusiam u injected into e whole project
Guess u ppl also had a fun time filming
so yes, dun feel sad, cos at e least you guys enjoyed yourself:)

Yanjie: Thanks for spending ypur time ine wholr project
Knew that it was not easy for u this whole while
To cope with LTC and SVA at e same time
but, really appreciate everything u have done
u are definately a good and responsible leader:)

People always say," The results aren't important, but e process is"
Therefore, treat this as a learning experience
see it as a chance to sharpen your filming and editing skills
so that we can produce a wonderful video
for the school 50th anniverasy
and not forgetting to write our own credits
at FRONT 48 so that we can be properly acknowledged for our effort this time

Ya, by the way
I have decided not to go for class chalet
since i am doing prom nite duty
and having AV camp in school the next two days
so, goodbye to 3M chalet 06
Hope there will still be 4M chalet 07

Jiayou everyone:)

2006-11-10T05:58:00.000-08:00

It has beeen quite a while since i updated my blog
well. perhaps due to plain laziness
hah, went back school today for extra lessons at 9

I almost overslept
guess i stayed up too late last night to help me older sis type her account homework
what rubbish is this?
doing work for someone till 2.30 in the morning

Well, i admit i was falling asleep today during lessons
den during break, peiying came in and said,
" sec ones filming today at skate park."
wanted to make a trip there
but had CL backdrop making
by the time i left school
they finished liao
so, i did not go eventually

But, chem lessons was fun today
miss chng's way of teaching spiced up e lesson
and guess, i was about 70% awake
i guess:)

I am having some funny headaches these few days
It comes and goes quite frequently
sometimes, it comes when i sneeze
and it was a short sharp pain
Worse till, even with ample rest
e moment i wake up
e pain did not go off
Hai, my mum thinks my brain got some problem
and she insist that i should go for some x-ray
haha, i shall wait a few days and see how
perhaps, it is just lack of rest
i hope it is simple:)

I am going to paste mahjong paper now
pasted one whole afternoon
and still could not finish
so had to bring back to do

I am going school tomorrow
to help my juniors do editing of video
so, sleep early:)
To add, i am happy these few days
at least i think i am.

2006-11-02T04:37:00.000-08:00

I am really tired
really exhausted now
can someone come
and pull me a hand
cos
i think i am really falling
really falling apart

All human are so fake
they wear layers amd layers of masks
( like wat e EYE chinese compre passage wrote)
those besides u may teat u nice
but deep within
u never noe wat they are thinking
wat they really think about u
isn't this very true

i really hate
really dislike ppl who back-stabbed others
i noe this is only human nature
that we fight really hard for things we desparately wants
by all means and ways
and i noe
the world is such a depressing place to live in

that's all for now
i am really tired
i want a rest badly
desperately

We are torn between what we want and what is good for others

Last official school day 2007

2006-10-26T05:46:00.000-07:00

"If you are given a chance to speak up and u did not,
u have no rights to complain."
that's what mr sng said today

true and i really agree

learnt something new today
and yes, i promise i will try to be happy
and i will "learn to appreciate myself more,
to see myself as a person of tremendous innate worth"
as quoted from my report book
yup, i will try to do that asap
i hope:)

2006-10-20T03:19:00.000-07:00

It's good that you dun possess anything
Cos if you have nothing
It simply means you have nothing to lose at the end of the day
which implies that you dun have to undergo
the pain and agony of losing something
you once had
trust me,
the pain is really unbearable

Though i am trying very hard to stay optimistic
but, i couldn't held back my tears
i cried this afternoon
i cried

2006-10-14T17:54:00.000-07:00

Went back to school for sec.4 graduation ceremomy yesterday
it was kind of tiring for me
cos i had to reach school by 7 early in e morning
when i slept aroung 3.30 e night before
yes, surviving with barely 2.5 hours of sleep

e whole thing was kind of screwed
teachers came in WITHOUT MUSIC AT ALL
suppossed to play 'pomps and circumstance"
but, control room did not noe that they were starting
and u see, things didn't play in time
it was rather okay after that
but guess everyone was rather discouraged
den during e tribute
e song lyrics was not synchronise with e slide show
e two sec two PC at e backstage cried
they cried
OMG, i felt so sad for them
cos i saw them putting in hours and hours of hard work
just to do e do all e powerpoint
and yet, it did not run in time
but, nevertheless
thumbs up to e two PCs
cos you guys haven already given your best:)

Everything was well den
saw all the sec 4s cry and cry non-stop
when they sang their theme song
Haih, guess next year we are going to go thru e same thing again

i realised something yesterday
sometimes, it's good to accept how things are
instead of fighting over it
cos, when u fight
more disputes takes place
and u see, everyone ends up unhappy
sometimes, someones
just have to take e initiative
to put herself at some disadvantages
so that somehow
things are not made worse
i am not saying about myself
but, just some general observations...

i am trying my best to make myself happy
i really tried
but somehow
i really feel like giving myself up completely

My first ice-skating experience

2006-10-11T08:35:00.000-07:00

Yeah!!!!
i went ice-skating today
haha, it was interesting
and also
lots and lots of fun

went there with kurinchi, rachel and joanne
haha, it was kind of funny
cos, 3 out of 4 had no experience at ice-skating
so, we held hands together
and if one falls, u noe wat will happen to e rest

e rink was wet
so if u fall, haha
your butt will be wet totally
there was a cursed area
where kurinchi fell into an ultra big puddle there
and later
every time we skate past
its kind of funny
cos we will skate slowly
so that none of us fall again

rachel was fast in picking up
while me and kurinchi
was not tat good lah
haha, i always had joanne to drag me
while kurinchi had rachel to drag her
den we ate maggie mee with egg there
it was nice
eating hot food in a cold place:)

yes, it was definately fun
but also promising exhaustion
i felt like dying when i came home
and almost fell asleep just now
but
i stayed awake, u see

Special thanks to all of them
Joanne: for dragging me so much today
Kurinchi and rachel: for constant support and encouragement
i truly enjoyed myself today
guess it has been a long time
since i really enjoyed myself tat much

oh, i saw a guy who looks really like him today on e train back
but, i noe
its definitely not him
reminds me of him suddenly and also e fun we once had together
but, really missed him now:)
oh, he is doing fine there
i heard and probably may come back
lesser than two years time
i hope so

My current greatest fear
is when i am afraid
i might not see him again
not be able to hold his hands
and also, to hug him warmly in my arms
ever.....

10th October 2006

2006-10-10T07:47:00.000-07:00

101006
nice date
haha, went out to bugis today

was a rather short outing
with slyvia, li thong and deborah sim
we had lunch at kfc
den just went window shopping
walking round and round around bugis
cos, deb just finish her paper
so she wanted to celebrate
oh, we took neoprints too:)

deb sim was asking wat we learn in school
she was telling us all kind of funny things she learn in IP programme
haha, it was rather "chim"
and i guess we did not understand much
eg: newton second law: F=ma
tat was simply wat we learn in cedar
but deb sim went on to talk about one whole chunk
how e formula came about
haha, i bet none of us understands it though.

Oh, i was kind of depressed today
when i went for lessons tonight
i am ultra determined now
i shall go and take my grade one abacus exams next year jan
haha, according to my teacher
no one in singapore had ever made it to abacus grade one
( although there are lots in singapore with mental abacus grade one)
e worse thing
my elder sis is also going for e exams
she was telling me we shall
have a fair competition
so, i was learning e "octang" part of grade one
octang simply means negative
as in half way thru e sum, you have an ultra big negative no.
which eventually gives u a negative answer
it was interesting, but at e same time
complicated

my mum is nagging at me again
gosh, she nags non-stop
and when i say non-stop
i seriously mean it
<>

okay going to bed now...
oh, i am going ice-skating tomorrow
with joanne, rachel and kurinchi tomorrow
yeah!!!
at e very least, there is something nice
which i can look forward to tomorrow:)

2006-10-07T18:30:00.000-07:00

It's over
It's finally over
no more mugging through e wee hours
no more sleeping at 2 and waking up at 4
Yes, it's finally over
Hooray!!!!!!

Haha, i can't believe it
i actually managed to survive 4 days
on only 12 hours of sleep in total
this is about 3 hours per day???

I was extreme glad at 1.15pm on friday
it marked e end of my exams period
and a beginning of a short hols
I walked out of school with charis, ruiwen,quincy, jiani, pinn xian,simin, szewaiy, singyee, jamie, yinxue
at pp mrt, we meet charmaine, huiyi, cheryl, mr sng and miss wee
i was having such a bad headache that i went home to sleep
gosh, it was really tat bad that i felt that my head was splitting any time
den e train towards punggol came
and me amd yinxue boarded e train
mr sng was asking why i wasn't going e other way
well i told him i needed sleep desperately
and he asked me if i was okay
yes, i was
though i am really feeling bad
if not
what u expect me to do
faint on e streets????

I strolled home really slowly
guess i took quite a long time to reach home
i had lunch
which was rather disgusting
cos my elder sis cooked it
and she forced me to finish
btw, it was some half cooked chicken
and some ultra hard veggies

I went into deep sleep after lunch
really deep sleep, i mean
i slept for 18 hours straight, without waking up at all
till 8.30 next day
well, i thought i would be feel good after that, but it did not
i was running high fever
and had to go to e doctor late in e noon
just to get some medicine

i could still vividly remember e day when all of us said
" Gosh, i wonder how am i gonna to survive e four days!"
but without realising, it ended so soon
though during e days
i was really stressed up
and i admitted that i had thoughts of poning school
just to skip e exams
e feeling sucks when u had barely two hours of quality sleep
and u had to wake up to school
to sit through two long and gruelling paper
and one thing
i think i nearly faint during bio paper
cos as i was doing section B
my vision suddenly became blur
and e next moment
it was totally balck
i shoke my head violently
and i managed to overcome the fainting spell
and continued with e paper...

i really want to thank those
who have helped me in a way or another during the gruelling period
special mention to huiyi
who has motivated me so much before physics and a maths paper
and also e notes on ecotourism which came out during e exam
Liukun: who constantly asked me to help her do those question in FYS
so that i got so motivated that i started to do mine too
my family
especially "yeye"
who came to fetch me tro and fro from school everyday
during e exam period
a GREAT THANKS to all of u

E most gruelling time is over
but e depressing time is coming
when we eventually checked our papers
and see for ourselves
how well we have done
and whether all those tears and sweat and effort
we put in
is worthwhile or not

2006-09-20T06:14:00.000-07:00

I am vexed
I am burning out soon
very soon, i promise

"You are a lousy secretary"
Yes..I am one
i was rather irritated by someone this morning
shan't mention who e person is
cos is so depressing

I understand that everyone is stressed
vexed over exams and stuff
I also understand that everyone have mood swing
once in a while or so
and i dun mind if ppl scold me or scream at me
cos i noe they dun do it on purpose

but, wat if such stuff occur to u frequently
at least twice to thrice a week
i really can't take it
i am already going beyond my part to do wat i can
yet, she does't appreciates at all
i really ponder
why must i find all e troubles for myself???

I am not obliged to be a someone
whom u vent your anger out at
neither am i someone
who has no feelings
and dun give a damm heck
at whatever u say
i care
i really care
so pls
give me basic respect
will u?

i noe i am complaining
but i really feel very tired now
i really want to take a break
pls stop treating me like this
before i go crazy
i am really washing my hands off all committements
in my CCA
2morrow, 21st september
i shall join my class for morning assembly again
yeah, back to my place
after 2 long and gruelling term

I am not pissed
I am not angry
but i just want to be treated
in a more humane way
cos i am a human
who has flesh and blood
who has a heart that is still beating
and also
feelings

2006-09-16T16:43:00.000-07:00

This shall be one of my last few post before exams
cos i won't have much time to blog so often
most of my time will be spend mugging
i suppossed

I woke up so early today
to start mugging
haha, actually not
cos i am going m'sia later
for some funny workshop about right and left brain
won't be coming back till e nite
guess not much time for studying today
so wake up earlier to complete my homework

Oh, someone told me this that day
"self mutilation is good
e physical pain inflicted
actually help relieves e psychological pain
that is deep inside"

I was pondering this over e past few days
den i realised that it is kind of true to a certain extent
but not completely true

I was listening to e song journey by corrinne may yesterday
Hmm, reminds me of
hai tun wan lian ren
but i actually loved 2 lines of it
it goes like this:
" I know i will falter I know i will cry
i know you'll be standing by my side"
Hmm, it got stuck in my head since then

He called yesterday
and we chatted for an hour plus
he said that we are one continent away
but i said we're just a phone call away

E greatest distance seems to be
when u miss someone so much
but u realised that he's so far away
that u never got to see him
only hear his cold voice over e phone
when u really want to hold his warm hands
and see him standing right in front of u

Perhaps
we do take things for granted
and only realise how much it means to us
after they left

2006-09-15T05:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes
when depression overwhelms you
you never noe what u will do

Friday
supposed to be e best day in e e week
cos it marks the ending of weekdays
and beginning of weekends

I got ultra depressed this morning
I did morning duty and went back class late
that's wasn't anything surprising
cos i never went back class punctually since Term 3
but, it was different today
cos when i reached class
mr sng was already in there.
wow, this is rare
he hardly comes into class for contact time
i suppossed

I think i looked horrible this morning
I had a sudden urge to inflict pain on myself
did not noe how to do it
since i forgot to bring penknife today
so, what i had was e backstage keys
I really had nothing else
so i used it
I used e end part of the keys
to scrap my skin so hard
that it produces some kind of swelling and mark
e mark looked similar to cane mark
but it is shorter
and e pain was more intense

i was doing it throughout e whole english lesson
when the lesson ended
i realised that my left hand
e portion directly on e reverse side of your palm
was red totally
hmm, den i asked jamie what's e next lesson
she said it was physics
and i guess i won't be so free den
so i asked mr sng to help me return e keys

did u realised that sometimes
words from ppl around u can totally change your day?
be it a word of encouragement
or a sentence of scarcasm
can really affect u
some of u may deny this
but everyone have to admit
that such stuff do linger inside your heart
be it a second
or e entire week.

It rained today
heavy thunderstorm
i guess even heaven is depressed
and cried uncontrobally

My fever was back
AGAIN
we watched scrubs during assembly today
i did not realised e presence of my fever
till sze waiy told me that my hand feels warm
i touched my forehead
and gosh
it was really hot

Somethings come
and somethings go
so quietly
without u notice it
at all

2006-09-06T20:08:00.001-07:00

Somtimes, i really want to take a rest
to take a break from life
to get out of e vicious cycle of studies
to find the real me

I am ultra tired as i type this post
went to doctor early in e morning
to get medication of flu and sore throat
Haha, guess i screamed too much last night during lessons
and maybe more screamings tonight

kids sometimes can be rather irritating
they use vulgarities like nothing
a five-year old boy used e F word on almost
all his classmates last night
den i ask him if he knew e meaning
he kept quiet and said nothing.

okay, this is super random
shall take about something else

I sometimes think that why must we have school hols
wat's e diff between school hols and school days
personally, i feels that there's not much diff
except that we study in a differnet evironment
and have more control over time
but eventually
all e learning
homework
studying for tests and exams
comes back again

I know that many ppl around me have lost their loved ones recently
Last night, one of my tution mate
lost her grandma
so i shan't talk about death anymore
cos i talked quite a lot in my recent posts
so
just an excerpt from a song to share
hope that u will feel better after reading it

So say goodbye for just a while
and thru e tears
u will start to smile
for soon u will be in heaven
in Father's arms forever
and every step u are not alone
love's by e side to keep u warm
no more looking back from here
your journey home has only just began.

For those who have lost your loved ones
dun despair
for they have gone to enjoy eternity
to start their new life
in a new world

STAY STRONG

2006-09-06T20:08:00.000-07:00

One Family

2006-09-05T20:24:00.000-07:00

wednesday already
wow, time flies
now, i am left with only 4 days more
gosh, work is still piling up!!!

Last night, as i was clearing my drawer
i found a CD
haha, it was given to me by my school in 2002
as a founder day gift
( if u dun noe, i was from an IJ school)
i never really finished e CD
so decided to listen to it last night as i was doing maths

I realised that songs found inside are rather meaningful
e lyrics really makes me ponder
over issues like friendship, love and belief
Btw, e CD is called
Share the love
by Trevor Nreva and Julie Sim

Just want to share with u an extract of e song
One family
it goes like this:

Does it really matter how we call ourselves
as long as he's e one who first called us
Why spend all our time fighting amongst ourselves
when he called us to spread his love
remember his message to us
we are one family in e Lord
that's how it's meant to be in e Lord
working hand in hand
to make it known throughout e world
so let's just stop and face each other
it's like looking in the mirror
recognise our similarities
yes, it's time to come together
we can make things even better
try to be
what he meant us to be
one family

Perhaps, u never realised how powerful these words can be
but, if u are having conflicts and problems
with your loved ones
this song may make u realised that
all your conflict and fighting are redundant
" Why spend all our time fighting amongst ourselves"
Exactly
we are a family eventually
why not live peacefully and harmoniously together
to share joy and peace
and most importantly
Love

let's hope everyone can show love to ppl around you
through actions and thoughts
And also, hope that all three moo-ers
can keep e class spirits high
to share love throughout e upcoming exam period
and make sure
each and every three moo-ers feels loved!!!

2006-09-05T04:00:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning at 5.30
wow, that's not me
i couldn't sleep back after that
i tried
but i just could not

Started doing a-maths at 6.30am
kana stuck at e first sum
so i swoop to e-maths instead
and continued doing till 8.30
non-stop doing maths

i dun noe wat's e problem with me today
gosh, i actually had sucidal thoughts
i had a sudden urge to inflict pain on myself
i want my blood to flow out
out with all my troubles that has beeen bottled inside me
eventually
i did not
cos i remember how much pain he felt
when i did it e last time
i promised hin i would take care of myself
within e two years when he is away

death revolves round me these days
yeaterday, the croc hunter steve irwin passed away
he was only 44
i would not be shocked if he died under the jaws of a crocodile
yet
he surrender to a stingray sting

Life is so vulnerable
i began to have thoughts
of what if i die someday
wat if i leave e world
without accomplishing my dreams
without saying a single goodbye to my loved ones
like wat mr sng said
without leaving an impact on anyone's life

This morning was lynn's dad's funeral
i happen to pass by e void deck
when i went to buy breakfast
i saw her
she cried

i suddenly began to think
wat actually happen if my parents were to pass away someday
how would i react
will i cry
i really dun noe
and perhaps e answer to this
will only occur to me
when e day arrives

just realised that i have been thinking a lot today
poor brain cells
i pity u
but i just can't help it
maybe
i will have an early night today
so that u guys won't have to work so hard

YEAH!!!
just received a mail from him
he said he's doing fine there
and told me to jiayou for EYE
same to u too
and remenber to take care:)

seven hundred and fourteen days more
before
we meet again....

Flag day at Orchard

2006-09-03T08:18:00.001-07:00

Flag day today
tired for most of e three moo-ers i supposed
nevertheless
everyone puts in their greatest efforts to collect as much funds as possible
well done to all

i was with ruiwen at e traffic lights near mandrian hotel
haha, it was quite a good spot
cos many tourists who came out of e hotel gave it to us
according to ruiwen,
6 out of 10 tourists would donate if approached
wow, that's a lot

i was getting rather sick of asking e question:
'excuse sir/mdm would u like to contribute to e wildlife conservation fund?"
hmm, i guess i repeated this question countless of times today
if lady luck is on me, i get usually donations of coins and small change
like: 20 cents, 50 cents or a dollar coin
if not, i was totally ignored

sometimes, i really feels that generosity really comes within
if one had e heart to donate, he/she would come forward
without being asked or approached by us
e greatest amount i collected was 2 ten dollars notes today by a middle-aged lady
she came forward and gave me e money without being approached
wow, that's kind of amazing and also
RARE...

Though tiring and exhausted
i did had a fun time today collecting funds
i bet ruiwen also had a satisfying day
cos her tin was e fullest out of e four of us
i mean jamie, singyee, me and ruiwen
ruiwen was extreme enthu in collecting
she actually went to e state
of fighting coins wuth me given by a tourist
until e coins fell out onto e road
haha, its kind of malu for both of us
but i admit this injected much fun into the tedious collection process

Den miss wee sent a message over and said that
she was at OG orchard with her cousins
so, desperate ruiwen and me called her
and literally threatened her to come over to mandrian hotel to give us money
haha, she was too lazy to walk over
so we had to make our way there to get e money from her
she gave us some coins a two dollar note each
Thank you miss wee for your kind donation!!!

We had lunch at delifrance
and den went kino to buy books
after returning e tins, singyee, jamie and charmaine gang
went to cineleisure to watch
devil wears prada
well, i had a spilting headache and left them early
guess i had not enough rest over e last few days

i came home and took a bath
after e bath, i realised that my fever was back
it went up to 38.4 again
well, i took medication
and went back to sleep again
till about 8.30pm at night.

generosity comes deep within
it is deinately not defined as giving mere donation
it comes through a long way
and is also a consistent effort
nevertheless, i would still like to thank each and every passer-by
who gave me their attention today
hopefully, their generosity and kindness would not end today
let's continue this love for those who needs it for tomorrow
the day after
and years after today

anyway
LOVE NEVER FAILS
LOVE NEVER ENDS

Flag day at Orchard

2006-09-03T08:18:00.000-07:00

Death

2006-09-02T16:43:00.000-07:00

Early sunday morning
e first sunday pf the september holiday
waking up at 6.30am
wow, this is so not like me

Honestly, i have never really rested after teacher;s day celebration
thursday afternoon: went out with friends
thursday night: went to national library to watch show till midnight
thursday midnight: planning layout for open house booth
friday morning; went to school for open house prep
friday afternoon: went to mr sng father's wake
friday night: went for abacus lesson
friday midnight: desperately finishing my ban yue ji till 3.30am
saturday morning: back to school for cedar open house
saturday afternoon: engilsh tuition at novena

Hmm, my body could not take it during english tution
i fell asleep so many times
until my tutor had to continuously call my name to answer questions to keep me awake
i fell into deep slumber e moment i came home
and woke up only this morning

the past few days was saddening
so much things happened
my neighbour's dad passed away
e shocking part was that i still saw him at e carpark on thurs night
i greeted him and he replied with his usual lively tone
and on friday morning he passed away
wow

what exactly is death
is death that firghtening afterall
or is just like what mr sng said
joining lord in heaven

it is always easy to say e two words my "deepest condolences" to family of the late
but, have u ever ponder what's e feeling like if someone said this to u
maybe not now
but twenty, thirty years down the road
we have to experience the pain of death sooner or later
e only quetion is how are we gonna to face it

u never noe what is gonna to happen today, tomorrow or e day after
e death of my neighbour's dad came just as abruptly to the family as to me
we never know when or how our loved ones is leaving us
we can never predict e day he would be going to heaven to join lord

guess what we can do is to cherish our loved ones
be gateful to all they did for u
to thank them, to appreciate all their actions
before we missed the chance,
today, tomorrow or forever.

2006-08-27T05:02:00.000-07:00

Today was a saddening day
everything went wrong
i am feelijng so sick now
still having a high fever and a bad flu

I fell sick on tuesday
perhaps i drank too much mutton soup on monday night
hehe, glen left already
this means i have more to cope during lessons
not sure i can control all those kids as well as him

EYE is coming
6 more weeks
the streess seems overwhelming
OMG, can i really cope with it

Everytime i receives Glen's mum's call
i feel kinda a weird feeling
i hardly have time to go lessons
yet, i could not bear to reject her
i feel so bad
Glen told me to help her as much as possible before he left
cos her health is not in tip-top state
so....
i try my best to arrange my time
so that i can attend most of her lessons
i mean MOST:)

anyway, life is always like this
we have a cjoice to chose
but we dun have the choice of the outcome
wat we can do is to believe
believe in yourself
believe in your choice
and make the best out of it
so that you would not turn your haed back one day and say
i shouldn't have done this in the first place

Hmm, that sounds so logical
haha, i rarely say logical stuff
Maybe, i am just not myself today lah

got geo test on tues
got to go and study now

still feeling sick

DEPRESSION

2006-08-18T05:57:00.000-07:00

Finally blogging after such a long tyme
Hmm, kind of tired this week
Not tired, exhausted i suppossed
so much things have happened
My poor brain cells seem to start protesting soon
or perhaps, they are already

NDP is finnaly over!!!
haha, after NDP, a new topic is sprouting
Hmm, it has been speculated that....
AUDRIE LIKES ME!!!!
haha, wat a joke lah
hmm, maybe is tat i am kind of close to her during duties lah
but, let me reiterate, i care for audrie the way i care for my juniors
just tat perhaps we meet everyday for yoga duties
tats why so love to talk crap stuff to me
hehe:)

Finally returned for meetings this week
seems a long time i have attended meeting
but, meeting this week was depressing
Peiying wasn't feeling well and left early
Jessie is withdrawing from AV
now we are left with 6 sec 3
Peichun started singing ' today is our book out day, book out, book out..'
everyone was kind of tired
and i screamed at the sec ones during debreif
but, it is definately not my wish
but, i am frustrated
sorry to all of them
Arggh!!!

I almost felt like dying this week
so much duities and tests
Oh no, miss wee thinks that i am streesed
but, actually, i am kinda of sick
and i suffer from serious lack of sleep
i noe i look horrible eveyday in e morning
but i will try to look better next week
i promised
there's a kind of pain inside me
i dun noe wat causing the pain
but everythings seems to be so screwed
or perhaps i am a screwed person
heard miss wee saying that some teachers are complaining tat Av members miss leesons because of duties
on e other hand, some teachers complained that we are too slow to report our duties
so since we can't leave early for duty, how do they expect us to report early???
Arggh!!! i really dun noe wat i am suppossed to do

i am feeling very exhausted now
a lonely friday night
an empty friday night
just like me
a lost soul wandering around

Forgot that today is already 18th august
Glen is leaving for australia 2morrow
going for about 2 years for studies
wish him all e best in his studies
hope he stills remember me after 2 years time

five hundred twenty five thousands six hundred minutes
one year seems a long time to pass
my life seems to be dragging on day after day
i wonder when will i be able to smile happily again
maybe 2moorow
maybe next week
maybe next year
or maybe forever i will not be able to smile again
i dun noe
can someone tell me?

7 hours before cedar NDP 2006

2006-08-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

The day before CEDAR NATIONAL DAY 2006
kinda a little bit nervous
hope that 2morrow nothing goes wrong
including tat e system will not go crazy
and bring unnecessary trouble to us

Stayed back 4 rehearsal again 2day
it continue till about 6.30pm
It is also e fourth time i skipped breakfast, recess and lunch
Shhh....better not let mum knows

Initially, i was kinda looking forward to today rehearsal
Actually, i was looking forward to e NDP video
Hmm, i viewed thru it once
and i felt a sudden pain in my heart.

E cerdits was e one responsible 4 my pain
AV WAS NOT ACKNOWLEGDED AT ALL!!!!!!!!
Goodness!!!! they thank each and everyone one
including e participating sec 4 class
but just left out av

i dun noe why
but i really felt bad after looking thru
we did so much and yet receive no credit at all
how should i answer to myself
for all e time and effort i put in for e past few weeks
for all e scoldings i receive from my parents for coming home late
for all and all

den, i was stuck in a dilema again
how should i answer to my juniors
how would they react if they saw e credits???
i really dun noe how much disappointment they will feel
i really hate to imagine that

however, my nightmare came true
my sec one juniors came and ask me after e rehearsal why were we not credited
i look at her and i really dun noe how to answer
i wanted to cry but i held my tears back
eventually, i told her plainly that that e treatment AV receives each time

She walked off
but i am sure she felt disappointed
was my answer rite????
was what i said too much
Was i jus a lousy senior????

on my way home, i suddenly thought of yanjie
i tried to think of her reaction when she sees e video
i noe she spent a lot of effort taling e raw clips over a few weeks
yet, e video did not display much of her clips
even they did, yanjie was also not included in e credits
Oh no, i really dun noe how to answer to her

It is going to be midnite now
7 more hours to NDP 2006
I am really really sick of this
so much unexpected has happened
i really dun noe what should i do
Maybe, we should jus give it our best 2morrow
and get it done and over with
After 2morrow, i hope all this memories will be erased off my mind

Stay strong
i will try my best
but i am not sure if i really can......

First day of Term 3

2006-06-26T03:59:00.000-07:00

SCHOOL REOPENS!!!!!!
First day of school today
It was not as bad as i expected it to be
Though i admit it was rather tired for me
And i slept through most of e periods

We changed our seating arrangement today
Hmm, i sat in the front row
Haha, it is bad in e sense that no more privacy
Coz e teacher always stands in front of me!!!
My new seating partner is SARAH TEH
She was my primary 6 classmate
Hmm, once again seating with her
I hope we will have a good time together:))
though i kinda of missed Divya
HAHAHA !!!!

Besides, we have a NEW BIOLOGY TEACHER
no more miss tan notes,
now we have mrs gay mindmaps
we had our first lesson with her today
She seems nice and humourous
BUT, i emphasise that it is SEEMS
cos all humans are two-sided
cos we haven seen e unfriendly side of her

Juz finished revising first two topics of Physics
Reflection & refraction, Converging lens
GOSH!!! information overloading!!!
juz have too much things crammed inside my head
I am a little worried for my test
Haha, haven had physics test for such a long time
Heard that it wouldn't be a simple paper
Hmm, must work hard:)

anyway, looking on e bright side,
we are going to have a long weekend
cos monday is Youth's day
YEAH!!!!!

Yea, time to go off for dinner
Having soup and veggies for 2nite's dinner
Yah!! i love mummy's cooking
It is always nice and heart-warming

STUDYING HARD:)))

2006-06-08T20:05:00.000-07:00

June holidays

Hmm, finally my long awaited June hols came
I was not as great as i thought it wouild be
time seems to move faster during hols
days seEms to pass by so quickly
<> now, it is already end of week 2
only 2 more weeks to go

Homework is piling up
i can't seems to finish them at all
Gosh, what have i been doing for the past few weeks
I dun even know

Things are getting messy at home
Books and paper lies everywhere
my study table is so full
even worksheets are found scattering on my bed

Mum stills nags at me everyday
Asking me to be less lazy and do my work
i am so immune to her nagging now
that nothing really goes into my head.

Hmm, it has been raining for the past few days
Early thunderstorm in the morning
I began to wonder if this is a predicament of something bad
that is going to happen throughout my days.

Last night, i went to abacus class
it was horrendously terrible
kids nowadays are so sickening
That i ended up flaring my temper @ them
But, i know i am not the only one
cos Glen also ended up screaming his head off a five years old boy
Haha......

Actually, i know that i am also wrong to flare my temper at a kid
in fact, not only i know, but Glen knows it as well
but, sometimes they are just so irritating
to such an extent that we dun noe what to do...
But, after each scolding, i know that he feels rather bad inside
and thats exactly how i feels too

yeah, that's should be for all now
must go and take lunch already
meeeting joanne and gang for project meeeting later....

The sky is still crying
with tears falling down.......

2006-05-18T08:58:00.000-07:00

Harloe..it has bben such a long tyme since posted any stuff
Hmm..now it's going to be midnite soon
in a about five mins tyme....

this week was a slack week
we seldom had any lessons cos it is post exams
lots of activities were arranged for us
such as bio DNA class and performances

I am streesed out this week
my family is in a total mess
my sis is having troubles wif her studies
and she comes home everyday with a sour face
and sometimes tears rolling down her cheeks

I really wonder what's going on in her mind
i really want to help
but i dun noe how
sometimes, i just feel lile asking her to drop all her studies
and do something else

today juz check my marklist for my midyear results
A little disappointment aroused within me
not because i am no longer first in classs
cos i am not vying for any position
but because my overall percentage dropped
i knew that this year i wasn't as hardworking as last year
i did not put in as much effort as last year
somehow, i began to doubt my own ability
can i really cope with triple science?
should i consider dropping it?
since not all my three sciences are counted in my L1R5
why not take another humanity
lyke lit or history since i am doing badly for SS/Geo

Life is full of ups and downs
we never noe what is going to happen next
today, tomorrow, the day after
we may try to predict
but not always accurate
what we can do is only pray
pray that things will go smooth
pray tat everything goes well
any pray that nothing bad happens
to anyone around me...

going to bed now
cos 2morrow still got X-country at MacRitchie
but can i sleep?
i doubt i can since i slept five solid hours in the afternoon
Nevertheless, i will try

STAYING AWAKE....

2006-05-09T02:59:00.000-07:00

I AM EXTREMELY ANGRY!!!!!
juz came home from my maths tution class
i am really hurt by what my teacher said

I showed him my e-maths common test paper
I scored 28 upon 40
At the least, it was an A2
But, guess wat he said
" You did so badly"

The paper was tough
and as a level, we did not do well
He flipped thru e paper
without carefully studying each of e single quetion
and he said " You could have done better, it was such a simple paper"

That wasn't the worse of all
The worse was when he said
" You are beginning to slack down, no longer as hardworking as ever"

I was completely saddened by his comment
i did put in efforts in this paper
i did all the questions in my ten years series
despite e practice, i did not perform well

I am already quite disappointed in myself
but why muz he rub salt into my wound
i had tried my best
but i was defeated by myself at e last minute

I muz admit that i am rather stressed
i failed to perform to my normal standard
i failed to stay calm while taking the test
i failed.....

Thinking it again, i should be partially blamed too
if only i could relax while taking e test
if only i did not panick so much
if only i did not make so much careless mistakes
if only......

The past will remain in the history
Guess whatever i could do now was to learn from my mistake
there's no point crying over spilt milk
i muz put in more efforts, relax, calm myself down
in the next test

STAYING STRONG.....

2006-05-08T08:05:00.000-07:00

Hmm....now is 11.00pm -at nite
juz cannot get to sleep
perhaps,due to some form of stress

Logically speaking, shouldn't even feel stress in the first place
there's nothing 2morrow
no tests, no exams, no timed assignments
BUT,
my younger sister is sitting for her exams 2morrow

actually, i shouldn't worry in e first place
after all is not me who's gonna to take e exams
e results would not affect me a single bit
BUT,
i am still worried

Sometimes, i try 2 tell myself to take things easy
to take things calm
maybe, its time i learn to let go

Okay, should put an end to depressing stuff
Yah, no school on wednesday
Haha, my school got a lieu of
coz, it was used for general election last sat:)

Looking forward to next monday
Yah!!!I am turning 15 soon
its my BIRTHDAY:)

Hmm, kind of feeling a little tired now
shall stop now and get some rest
Tomorrow SHALL be a better day
no, it should be......
Tomorrow WILL be a better day

SMILES:)

TERM 2, WEEK 6

2006-04-28T20:12:00.002-07:00

i woke up tis morning @ 8.59am

i am feeling a little sick after sleeping more 12 hours last night
my forehead feels warm
i am convince i have a fever now (38.2 degrees celcius)

June holidays are cuming
Hmm...should feel happy about it
next week have e-maths test
haven started studying
haven done anything

Anyway, tis should be e last test of e semester
Yahh!!!final LIBERATION from tests and exams

I totally hate graphs now
GRAPHS !!!!
GRAPHS !!!!!
GRAPHS !!!!!!
graghs is so freaking horrible
exponential and log graphs, quadratic graph solution, velocity-time gtaph, limiting factors graphs.....
every lesson every subject we are doing graphs now!!!
OMG...we styudy graphs for.....
a-maths, e-maths, physics, biology
Arggh!!!!!

This week was bad
it fact it was extremely, extremely bad
i totally screwed up 2 important test: bio and physics
perharps i wasn't prepared for e test at all
i should,no, should be i miz put in more effort e next tyme

A little break from CCA
no more AV meetings for e next three weeks
Yahh!!!! this means more afternoon naps for me
HEHE.....

Going out wif e Joanne on Monday
Kind of looking forward to it...

Labour day cuming
An extra holiday = extra weekend homework
teachers are giving us so much work
i really wonder if i can finish them
nevertheless, i will TRY my best to finish
no.should be i will DO my best to complete

CHEERS:))

2006-04-23T03:22:00.000-07:00

hey...it has been such a long tyme since i last blogged...hehe,rather busy wif all e school assignments and tests..Finally, now got some tyme to write some stuff...hehe, school has been fine so far, i have 3 more common tests to go before i finish all my tests tis semester...hmm,now rather worried about my bio and physics test next week. bio is on for tues and i haven started studting cos i dun even noe wat chapters are tested in e first place. <>, mis tan has been absent 4 e past week and e class is rather unsure of e chapters...evety class has different "version" of e tested topics...OMG lah, i wonder how much i can cram inside my head during monday...Hmm, should end now, so tat i can start studying some of e unsure bio topics i got..BYE!!!!!

AV Duty

2006-01-27T02:11:00.000-08:00

Harloe..CNY is here again...Tis year got a long hols during e weekends..HaHa..But there r a lot of Homework 2 be done...2dae was on CNY AV duty...Omg so much thing cock up during e last minute lah...The curtain did not close in tyme and u had 2 rush out like mad 2 plug in e mic....so malu in front of e whole school and den ppl in e control rm did not reduce the mics sensativity and cause so much feedback lah..Worse still e projector was not on and e teachers had 2 on 4 us lah...OMG...I think i should look on e bright side and stop complaining...take it as alearning experience so that next time learn 2 put more effort into preparation and prevents things lyke tis from happening again.Cheers......

2006-01-18T23:18:00.000-08:00

Harloe...2dae was a completely tiring day....got school in e morning, CCA until 5.30 in e afternoon and tution @ nite.....OMG.....So much homework not done so much things don't understand lyke TIR & conjugate surds.....Okie, should not be so streesed.....Relax and start doing things on by one........

First Post

2006-01-16T01:08:00.000-08:00

Test Test.....Tis is e first post of my blog...really dun noe wat 2 write....nevertheless, jus view our class blog and mr sng said we should post with good grammer and perfect english....hope 2 do tat (but i doubt i can)...Haha...